20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of (In)Sanity

[pingjocky]

Happened to find this on my computer...thought I'd share with the group.

R/
Pingjocky

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity:
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds."
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As often as Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At the Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name; Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Send This To Someone To Make Them Smile. It's called "Therapy".

[SlightlyCatholic]

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

This one got a kid at my high school three nights detention and a chorus of laughter throughout the hallways. He ran for class president the next day and won.

[Kiwi]

8. Don't use any punctuation


Thats pretty well me

[ClearShot89]

Because of my youth, the following are all in consideration of what I actually would do:

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

Also I have done #11

[Scrappy]

Thanks for posting this.........really!!

I just forwarded it to everyone in my office, and you can so tell when my co-workers are reading the emails.....from the lowered shushes of typing and and the buzz of the air conditioning, you can hear the occasional loud SNORT of someone trying to stifle their laughter or someone's coffee/soft drink coming out their nose.


I am laughing so hard listening to them, my eyes are watering.......it's like every 15-30 seconds someone opens an email and the snorting, choking, and stifled giggling starts all over again......

[C.A.P. Flight Officer]

That is good stuff. I need to make that my personal Constitution. I will try number two on the day I graduate, just kidding that will cost me my diploma for a year. I know a cadet who has the most funniest reactions and I will try number three tomorrow.

[Smiles]

This's great stuff, had it sent to me a couple weeks back.

We've asked for diet water several times and most folks stand there with that confused look on the their face then inform us that they're all out! Imagine that, all they stock is regular water when they stock everything else with diet in front of it.

I've stood up and yelled 'JACKPOT AGAIN!' when I get change outta the change machine at work...it gets the folks laughin'. Anything to lighten the mood.

I got a wise arse DUH when I notified the drive through chick that I wanted that to go...mind you it took her a few to realize what I said.

Get on an elevator and ride it all the way up and then ask those who have rode with you the longest 'This thing goes left and right doesn't it? I just need to get down the hall?' Hey it worked for Willy Wonka didn't it?

Next time you get a flat ask the one who replaces why it keeps goin' flat on the bottom?

Smiles