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Old 09-30-2008, 04:12 PM
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Default I need some help...

Well, Im having a few problems at home.. Im not sure frankly what to do. But my step-dad went to jail last night for pretty much beating the hell out of me... (Excuse the language and such, if 'hell' is in the pretenses) Kinda give me some advice or something. I never really wanted it to happen. He's been under alot of stress and everything because my cousin's causing trouble.. I want my mom to be happy, I dont care if its with him.. Im just not sticking around so he can take more of it out on me like always. My plans on moving to California with my Fiance'. Im lost either way...
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Last edited by Pinpoint_KillerXO; 09-30-2008 at 04:14 PM.
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Old 09-30-2008, 04:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Pinpoint_KillerXO View Post
Well, Im having a few problems at home.. Im not sure frankly what to do. But my step-dad went to jail last night for pretty much beating the hell out of me... (Excuse the language and such, if 'hell' is in the pretenses) Kinda give me some advice or something. I never really wanted it to happen. He's been under alot of stress and everything because my cousin's causing trouble.. I want my mom to be happy, I dont care if its with him.. Im just not sticking around so he can take more of it out on me like always. My plans on moving to California with my Fiance'. Im lost either way...
Cadet,

I don't know that I can give you the advice you need or even want over the internet. However, my first recommendation would be to contact someone at your local police department or health and human services department and ask about support for vicitms of abuse.

It is never OK to do this type of thing and you have every right to not want to live in that sort of environment. My suggestion would be to find someone who specializes in this sort of thing (using the resources listed above) before you make any sort of decision about moving away or something like that.

Everything may happen quickly and this may be a very difficult time for you and your family. While you are seeking help for yourself, let your mother know what you are doing and try to get her involved as well - there is support for her too.

Irrational decision making at this point is only going to make things worse and possibly alter your abilities do do the things you dream of, so get yourself informed of your options, talk to your family and get a hold of this.

Be strong.
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Last edited by CAPSmith; 09-30-2008 at 07:16 PM.
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  #3  
Old 09-30-2008, 04:35 PM
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I'm sorry to hear about whats happening right now. I know that family matters can get way out of hand and people can get hurt. But the first thing you have to do is what CAPSmith said. He nailed it right on the head. What I wanted to add was this: don't make excuses or justify someone's actions when what they have done is wrong. Once you do that, you can start moving ahead. Involve your mother first, and the rest of the family if at all possible. None of these matters ever involve just one or two people, it affects everyone. Just reach out to others, and hopefully they will reach out in return. Talk to people you trust and love about this situation.

Really, all I can say is good luck, may God be with you and your family, and I, as well as others, are always around to talk to. Sometimes that's all you need to do to start feeling better, talking to someone.
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Old 09-30-2008, 04:41 PM
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Capsmith,

Thank you Sir,
I didn't necassarily want to make this public. I just needed a response. He was arrested yesterday after it all, but the got bailed out later that night by his family.. But I may take you up on the advice of seeking medical advice. I've got a severe headache and such like that, Blurryness, trouble walking. Currently at school trying to make it through.

Thanks for the strength

TruBlu,

Currently I didn't know who to talk to or who necassarily wanted to help me out with my problems at the moment. I didn't want to bother anyone person with my problems, I understand some may have busy lives so I allowed the public to help me out with the situation. Plus I dont think im on good standing at currently on grunts atm
__________________
"The safest place in Korea was right behind a platoon of Marines. LORD, how they could fight!"
Major General Frank Lowe, US Army

"Panic sweeps my men when they are facing the American Marines."
A captured North Korean Major

"The deadliest weapon in the world is a Marine and his rifle!"
General Pershing, US Army

"And on the 7th day god rested, we the marines overran his perimeter and we've been running things ever since"
-Centinull-

Last edited by Pinpoint_KillerXO; 09-30-2008 at 04:44 PM.
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  #5  
Old 09-30-2008, 06:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinpoint_KillerXO View Post
Capsmith,

Thank you Sir,
I didn't necassarily want to make this public. I just needed a response. He was arrested yesterday after it all, but the got bailed out later that night by his family.. But I may take you up on the advice of seeking medical advice. I've got a severe headache and such like that, Blurryness, trouble walking. Currently at school trying to make it through.

Thanks for the strength

TruBlu,

Currently I didn't know who to talk to or who necassarily wanted to help me out with my problems at the moment. I didn't want to bother anyone person with my problems, I understand some may have busy lives so I allowed the public to help me out with the situation. Plus I dont think im on good standing at currently on grunts atm
Pinpoint,

First of all, you and your family are in my prayers. Please know of that.

Secondly, I agree with the part about getting medical attention. I'm not a doctor, but it sounds like you have the after effects of a concussion. In any case, get yourself checked out. It may be worse or better than you think, but at least that way you'll know for sure.

Lastly, find SOMEONE to talk to who you trust. Teacher, friend, guidance counselor, priest...just make sure you find someone. You can heal the physical with an ice pack and a few bandages, but the emotional and psychological scarring aren't dealt with the same way and almost always can't be self-treated. You don't need to see a shrink and you don't even need to ask for advice. Just vent to someone you trust, and it should help a lot.

PM me if you want to talk more, and God bless.
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Last edited by SlightlyCatholic; 09-30-2008 at 06:53 PM.
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  #6  
Old 09-30-2008, 06:56 PM
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I'm sorry to hear about what happened. Something similar happened to one of my friends last Friday and all I can say is talk to your guidance counselor of SAFE team counselor; these people are there just for that reason. You can't bottle this up and not talk about it. If you have any siblings, especially younger ones, encourage them to talk to their counselors. Also, seek medical attention like CAPSmith said.

Best of Luck.
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Old 09-30-2008, 07:15 PM
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Just so we're clear. My recommendation was to reach out to a support organization, someone who is familiar with dealing with these types of situations. These organizations have people who specialize in dealing with domestic abuse and can help you find out what your options are and can offer consolation by just being there to talk to.

So, yes, seek medical advice, buy my concern lies more in affecting the environment that you are living in. Talk to somebody who can help. I'm sure that your guidance counselor at school, any police officer (there's probably one at school), social services staff, etc have contacts that they can provide you and help lead you in the right direction.

Again, stay strong, handle this in a calm collective manner and your results will be that much better. If you let your rage and anger make your decisions things will not turn out as well as they could.
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  #8  
Old 09-30-2008, 07:23 PM
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Quote:
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Just so we're clear. My recommendation was to reach out to a support organization, someone who is familiar with dealing with these types of situations. These organizations have people who specialize in dealing with domestic abuse and can help you find out what your options are and can offer consolation by just being there to talk to.

So, yes, seek medical advice, buy my concern lies more in affecting the environment that you are living in. Talk to somebody who can help. I'm sure that your guidance counselor at school, any police officer (there's probably one at school), social services staff, etc have contacts that they can provide you and help lead you in the right direction.
You've got a point. Short term and long term goals are equally important for this situation to be handled in the best manner possible.
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  #9  
Old 09-30-2008, 07:23 PM
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At my school we have a SAFE Team counselor, who handles anything like that. I suggest seeing if your school has something like that and then going to talk to them. They are trained to handle that sort of problem.
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Last edited by flyBoy2010; 09-30-2008 at 07:46 PM.
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  #10  
Old 09-30-2008, 07:40 PM
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As a side note to what CAPSmith said... you said you plan on moving out, right?

When you do, you might wish to file a restraining order.

We have a saying that is taught to all EMTs in the state of NJ. Any time an EMT or trainee is asked, "Who's the most important person," their reply is expected to be, "I am."

I'm glad to see you have your mom's feelings at hand, but consider that when you leave, her well being might very well become at risk as well. Abuse rarely stops when the one being abused leaves -- it continues on to someone else.

Most important though is that you do need to look out for yourself. The police department and legal system can help you, if you go to them and actively seek help. Under no circumstances would I ever advocate remaining in a dangerous situation.

Just something to keep in mind, is all. It is an option, and based on what I read at the start of this thread, it is one you should probably take. The fact that you do show signs of a possibly severe injury to the back of the head (balance issues, blurred vision) only supports that course of action, as well as (and more importantly, first) seeking medical attention. You belong at a hospital ER being assessed for possible neurological damage.

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