The Marine Version of Genesis!!

[Drill for life]

The Marine Corps Version of Genesis

In the beginning was the word, and the word was God.

In the beginning was God, and all else was darkness and void, and without form. So God created the heavens and the Earth. He created the sun, and the moon, and the stars, so that light might pierce the darkness. The Earth, God divided between the land and the sea, and these he filled with many assorted creatures.

And the dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths of the oceans, God called sailors. And He dressed them accordingly. They had little trousers that looked like bells at the bottom. And their shirts had cute little flaps on them to hide the hickeys on their necks. He also gave them long sideburns and shabby looking beards. God nicknamed them "squids" and banished them to a lifetime at sea, so that normal folks would not have to associate with them. To further identify these unloved creatures, He called them "petty" and "commodore" instead of titles worthy of red-blooded men.

And the flaky creatures of the land, God called soldiers. And with a twinkle in His eye, and a sense of humor that only He could have, God made their trousers too short and their covers too large. He also made their pockets oversized, so that they may warm their hands. And to adorn their uniforms, God gave them badges in quantities that only a dime store owner could appreciate. And He gave them emblems and crests... and all sorts of shiny things that glittered...and devices that dangled. (When you are God you tend to get carried away.)

On the 6th day, He thought about creating some air creatures for which he designed a Greyhound bus driver's uniform, especially for Air Force flyboys. But He discarded the idea during the first week, and it was not until years later that some apostles resurrected this theme and established what we now know as the "Wild-Blue-Yonder Wonders."

And on the 7th day, as you know, God rested.

But on the 8th day, at 0730, God looked down upon the earth and was not happy. No, God was not happy! So He thought about His labors, and in His divine wisdom God created a divine creature. And this He called Marine. And these Marines, who God had created in His own image, were to be of the air, and of the land, and of the sea. And these He gave many wonderful uniforms. Some were green; some were blue with red trim. And in the early days, some were even a beautiful tan. He gave them practical fighting uniforms, so that they could wage war against the forces of Satan and evil. He gave them service uniforms for their daily work and training. And He gave them evening and dress uniforms.. sharp and stylish, handsome things... so that they might promenade with their ladies on Saturday night and impress the hell out of everybody! He even gave them swords, so that people who were not impressed could be dealt with accordingly. And at the end of the 8th day, God looked down upon the earth and saw that it was good. But was God happy? No! God was still not happy! Because in the course of His labors, He had forgotten one thing: He did not have a Marine uniform for himself. He thought about it, and thought about it, and finally God satisfied Himself in knowing that, well... not everybody can be a Marine!

Enjoy!!!
Drill for life

[SlightlyCatholic]

1. Where did you get this from?

2. Please be careful not to allow your legitimate excitement and pride in the Marine Corps to translate into some sort of earned entitlement to poke fun at the other services. There's been quite a bit of talk on here about respect for other services and you need to watch out for the tolerance level of the BTDT Mods and service members here (which doesn't seem to be overly high). I am just as much of a civilian as you are, and you will be going to Parris Island in the hopes of being a United States Marine. You have a good bit of enthusiasm for what you are going to be doing and I have a great deal of respect for anyone who is raising their hand and signing on the dotted line for our nation's military. However, as men aspiring to future military service, I think we need to refrain from knocking any armed service until we've become a member of one of them. I'm not trying to criticize you, I just think it's good etiquette to err on the side of good manners and stay away from posting things which could be interpreted as offensive to servicemembers here. One man's humor is another man's bad day.

[navytrooper]

1. Where did you get this from?

2. Please be careful not to allow your legitimate excitement and pride in the Marine Corps to translate into some sort of earned entitlement to poke fun at the other services. There's been quite a bit of talk on here about respect for other services and you need to watch out for the tolerance level of the BTDT Mods and service members here (which doesn't seem to be overly high). I am just as much of a civilian as you are, and you will be going to Parris Island in the hopes of being a United States Marine. You have a good bit of enthusiasm for what you are going to be doing and I have a great deal of respect for anyone who is raising their hand and signing on the dotted line for our nation's military. However, as men aspiring to future military service, I think we need to refrain from knocking any armed service until we've become a member of one of them. I'm not trying to criticize you, I just think it's good etiquette to err on the side of good manners and stay away from posting things which could be interpreted as offensive to servicemembers here. One man's humor is another man's bad day.

I agree, this is treading on thin ice, but if one checked the "Chuckles of the Day" thread, one would find countless military jokes in which branches are teasing each other.

[Ben Shotalot]

This has been read aloud from the podium (in various versions) at many a USMC Birthday Ball or Mess Night. The audience has been wide and every service has heard it. And no other branch has been offended enough by it to take up arms against the messenger.

It has been around for a very long time. I would not fret too much about insulting other services with this one. It is not bashing another branch, poking fun - yes, but not denigrating another service too much to cause offense.

:recon:

[SlightlyCatholic]

Fair enough. I'm just trying to save the kid from being banned, since I've seen a general "zero tolerance" rule among the cadets for service insult/poking fun.

[armysc_25b]

Fair enough. I'm just trying to save the kid from being banned, since I've seen a general "zero tolerance" rule among the cadets for service insult/poking fun.

If someone were running around screaming "*explitive* the Marine Corps" across the board, that'd be means for being banned. Something like this, which is good natured, and even gave this "flaky creature of the land" a good chuckle won't get anyone banned.

I could see someone taking offense to this in one of two situations:
1) They weren't too enthused with the use of the Genesis, God, or any other religious reference in this story
2) Someone's just THAT die-hard of a servicemember that anything that's not "my service is the best" would anger them

[Drill for life]

1. A friend of mine sent it to me(He is a Corporal of Marines and has been to deployed to Iraq twice and is leaving in mid January to his first tour of Afghanistan).

2.I am very sorry if it offended someone, but it is funny. I just thought it would be enjoyed by all.

[SlightlyCatholic]

2.I am very sorry if it offended someone, but it is funny. I just thought it would be enjoyed by all.

I don't think you've offended anyone. Now that the policy on what exactly is meant by "disrespect to a branch of service" has been clarified, your post is good to go. Thanks for clarifying that, Army_25b.

[JohnP]

1. A friend of mine sent it to me(He is a E-4 in the Marines and has been to deployed to Iraq twice and is leaving in mid January to his first tour of Afghanistan).

2.I am very sorry if it offended someone, but it is funny. I just thought it would be enjoyed by all.

Don't apologize for good humor. I, too, have heard this story told at a Marine Corps Birthday party at 3 MARDiv. Yes, fingers were pointed and chuckles were heard at the expense of us guests, but the most important thing to remember is that it has to be given and taken with respect.

The biggest and dumbest fights I've seen have been over drunks beating their chests and stating that their unit, branch or other menial item was the only one and there are none better. As sure as I'm typing this, there will be someone who would take offense to the statement and start swinging. Melees would ensue and someone would be pummeled then someone would go to jail and someone would lose a career.

I was in a bar on Shaw AFB, with other members of my field and an Army guest. We were all wearing our BDU's with the correct accoutrements. Of the 8 sitting at the table, there were 8 master parachutist wings, 3 with gold stars on the risers; 5 Ranger tabs; 6 combat patches; 1 Special Forces tab and numerous other qualification badges. As we were sitting there, a young, drunk airman stood up and announced to the bar that "if you ain't (career field deleted as not to offend) you ain't sh**."

We all laughed and bought the young man a drink. We concluded, since we were not this man's career field, we were not sh**.

Take what you see and hear and learn from the experience. It is better to sit in silence and let people think that you are stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

[Drill for life]

Don't apologize for good humor. I, too, have heard this story told at a Marine Corps Birthday party at 3 MARDiv. Yes, fingers were pointed and chuckles were heard at the expense of us guests, but the most important thing to remember is that it has to be given and taken with respect.

The biggest and dumbest fights I've seen have been over drunks beating their chests and stating that their unit, branch or other menial item was the only one and there are none better. As sure as I'm typing this, there will be someone who would take offense to the statement and start swinging. Melees would ensue and someone would be pummeled then someone would go to jail and someone would lose a career.

I was in a bar on Shaw AFB, with other members of my field and an Army guest. We were all wearing our BDU's with the correct accoutrements. Of the 8 sitting at the table, there were 8 master parachutist wings, 3 with gold stars on the risers; 5 Ranger tabs; 6 combat patches; 1 Special Forces tab and numerous other qualification badges. As we were sitting there, a young, drunk airman stood up and announced to the bar that "if you ain't (career field deleted as not to offend) you ain't sh**."

We all laughed and bought the young man a drink. We concluded, since we were not this man's career field, we were not sh**.

Take what you see and hear and learn from the experience. It is better to sit in silence and let people think that you are stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Well all I have to say to that is" If you aren't alive your Sh%*". I don't think any one could get offended by that. Every branch of the military is important(Career to Even if your a Field Wireman to the Commandement of the Marine Corps, everyone has to start somewhere). Thank you, I enjoyed reading our post.

[Drill for life]

Someone's just THAT die-hard of a servicemember that anything that's not "my service is the best" would anger them

I think that would be me. It's like you just wrote about me.(I respect every branch, I am just Marine Corps to the Bone, I have not Earned the title but I want it more that anything and am willing to die for that EGA)

[navytrooper]

Well all I have to say to that is" If you aren't alive your Sh%*". I don't think any one could get offended by that. Every branch of the military is important(Career to Even if your a Field Wireman to the Commandement of the Marine Corps, everyone has to start somewhere). Thank you, I enjoyed reading our post.

:D

I enjoyed reading yours, Drill.

Commandment of the Marine Corps....:D

Back to the "Genesis." With all that God has done to isolate the Sailors from everyone else, why would he force his most beloved creatures, the Marines, to ask for rides on the Sailors' ships?

It's like creating slugs, Frosted Flakes, Bus Drivers, and the most beautiful girl in the world, and then making the girl marry the slug. :devil:

EDIT: Uh oh, I just read the post you made before me! *scared*

[Drill for life]

Well thank you Navytrooper. I don't see how it scares you. You made me spit up my water when you said the slug thing.
It's like creating slugs, Frosted Flakes, Bus Drivers, and the most beautiful girl in the world, and then making the girl marry the slug.

It cracks me up when anyone talks about Bus Drivers, my friend wants to be one, you should of made him happy, not the ugly slug!!!!:D

[Ben Shotalot]

1. A friend of mine sent it to me(He is a E-4 in the Marines

"E-4" is a pay grade, not a rank. Your friend is a Corporal.

:recon:

[Drill for life]

Thank you very much he is a Corporal of Marines.