Problem with my brother.

[Drill for life]

Okay here is the situation. My brother is in big trouble. He just got his uniform taking up, got his third strik at our school one more strike and he'll be kicked out. Worst thing is he's a Freshman. Since he went to Middle School he has been using drugs extensively and getting in a lot of truble. He got caught last year Smoking at school(under the bleachers) he is on probation and is in reach of going to Juvey and getting a Criminal Record and he keeps messing up. He has been caought twice at school and ten times at home, he's been caught stealin Ipods and phones and resellin them. On wedsnday(our uniform day) he skipped school and went to a friends house ans smoked pot and cigarettes, when he was finished he walked back to school. He stopped at the Baseball field and smoked some Cigarettes and our Security guard caught him(retired Army Major) and then when he walked into the building he un-buttoned his jacket so I told him our Xo tole him, and our BNSGTMAJ told him and he still didn't do it and he cusssed us out. Then he cusssed our AI out. I got no idea what to do with him. here are our options.
1.Juvey(he can't survive he'll turned into a girl)
2.Smokey Mountain home for trounled youth(same as above)
3.Boot camp(same as above)
4.Rehab(Really want to do this one)
Please help me, any suggestions will be taken and tried and no useles answers like"Beat him". Real advice.
Sincerely
C/1stLt Drill for life.

[TruBlu]

Well, this is interesting that this came up at the time it did. I am experiencing a situation so similar to yours, there really isn't a difference. My sister has gotten into a ton of trouble and is at the same age area as your brother. She hasn't gotten into drugs a lot, just marijuana, but has gotten into drinking and partying. She hangs out with all the wrong people and doesn't care about anything but herself. You know what we are doing? In a couple days (this Wed.), we are sending her off to a boarding/reform school across the state. It's been long since coming, but monetary issues always restricted my parents, who are divorced.

I recommend you and your parents/guardians look into something similar. It's hard, but the only way to solve these problems is to cut them off from what they know entirely. If money is a problem, its very hard and you have very few options. What we did was find a state assisted place. Basically they charge you according to your house's income. It's all scaled and won't take out tons of money because they make up the difference. This is what I recommend.

Talk to him. Sit down with him and say, "This is man to man, and you need to listen to me." You explain to him what he is actually doing and what will happen to him if he doesn't straiten up. Find out why he is doing what he does. It won't be a good reason so be prepared to basically say, "What the hell are you thinking? Look at what you are doing!" Seriously, make sure he really knows what and who he is affecting.

[SlightlyCatholic]

Your brother is in my prayers. It seems to me that the drugs are causing him to do a lot of things that he wouldn't normally do, so perhaps rehab might be a viable option. In any case, good luck with him and I wish the best for him.

[Drill for life]

Thank you very much. He is not into heavy drugs just Marijuana,Exstacy, and alchohol. Money is not the main problem it's my mom. She is afriad he'll get scarred for life if he goes to juvey or Boot Camp. I have already tried the Man to man talk It didn't work. Thank you again.

[TruBlu]

Thank you very much. He is not into heavy drugs just Marijuana,Exstacy, and alchohol. Money is not the main problem it's my mom. She is afriad he'll get scarred for life if he goes to juvey or Boot Camp. I have already tried the Man to man talk It didn't work. Thank you again.

I see. What you need to do is make sure she knows that if he doesn't go somewhere to get some help, he may not have a life. And he should be scared to be honest, he doesn't realize what he is doing is truly harmful to him and others. Make it a point that something has to be done, and that it can't just be talked about.

[Drill for life]

I see. What you need to do is make sure she knows that if he doesn't go somewhere to get some help, he may not have a life. And he should be scared to be honest, he doesn't realize what he is doing is truly harmful to him and others. Make it a point that something has to be done, and that it can't just be talked about.

First of all I didn't know my Lil-Brother was a Tranny. That is a great point you made and I will use it.

[TruBlu]

A "tranny?" I'm sorry I don't think I've ever heard that before, what does that mean?

[Drill for life]

It means transvestite, oyu called him a she and then a he. I'm just being sarcastic.

[TruBlu]

It means transvestite, oyu called him a she and then a he. I'm just being sarcastic.

Oh, I see where you could say that. When I was saying "she" and "he" a lot in there. When I said "she," I was referring to your mother, like make sure she understands that if her son doesn't straiten up, well you know...

[Drill for life]

Oh I get it. Hahah i'm stupid.

[ang1sgt]

Thank you very much. He is not into heavy drugs just Marijuana,Exstacy, and alchohol. Money is not the main problem it's my mom. She is afriad he'll get scarred for life if he goes to juvey or Boot Camp. I have already tried the Man to man talk It didn't work. Thank you again.

If you make a statement like this then you are in denial of the situation. What is wrong with this picture? Drug USE is Drug USE! Drug use is not normal and should never be accepted. Your brother needs help, both medically, mentally, and quite possibly physically to get over his ADDICTIONS. You ask for advice, but there have been many times where youths your age will not take the advice from seasoned Veterans.

In all honesty here, where are your parents in all of this? My grown children all had the same influences in their lives, the drugs, alcohol, and even sex. I was hard and firm with my raising of these children and they went without many of the trappings of life, no designer Jeans, No Gaming Consoles, none of the latest fads. Buy that when you have your own Job and then enjoy the fruits of YOUR labors.

Your Brother needs some Tough Love. There are organizations that teach this. It is hard on all effected by it, but if he does not get straightened out soon, he will go down that slope and probably not return.

I feel for you, I do.

[Drill for life]

If you make a statement like this then you are in denial of the situation. What is wrong with this picture? Drug USE is Drug USE! Drug use is not normal and should never be accepted. Your brother needs help, both medically, mentally, and quite possibly physically to get over his ADDICTIONS. You ask for advice, but there have been many times where youths your age will not take the advice from seasoned Veterans.

In all honesty here, where are your parents in all of this? My grown children all had the same influences in their lives, the drugs, alcohol, and even sex. I was hard and firm with my raising of these children and they went without many of the trappings of life, no designer Jeans, No Gaming Consoles, none of the latest fads. Buy that when you have your own Job and then enjoy the fruits of YOUR labors.

Your Brother needs some Tough Love. There are organizations that teach this. It is hard on all effected by it, but if he does not get straightened out soon, he will go down that slope and probably not return.

I feel for you, I do.

Thank you, I guess I am in denial. I just want this to end before it gets anyworse. I hate to see him, he's in bad shape all he cares about is the next high. It's like he's in another world.

[txb&b]

I would try to convince your parents to try the Rehab option first; but keep in mind that if your brother doesn't want to be helped the chances of it failing are almost 100%. Your family might get lucky in that, through the therapy sessions, your brother finally realizes he needs help. You didn't mention how old he is. Once he reaches 18, your family's options will be legally limited and his current age may factor into how much time to give rehab before moving to tougher options.

[Drill for life]

We are sending him away in January. My mom sent in applications to Boot Camp for Troubled Youth,Boy's homes and Boarding Schools. He got in trouble tonight.

[ufcfootballfan]

I agree drugs is drugs no matter what drug it is. have head many students in my school say yea i smoke but i only do weed i do not do crack or anything heavy. but to me it is all the same. I do not understand why someone would want to destroy there life in that type of way. Good luck to your brother, i hope he turns things around.

[Drill for life]

Drugs are drugs, Thank you. Drugs are a big problem and are hard to get rid of. Once they are introduced into a Community, Neighborhood, school and city they spread like Wildfire.

[TruBlu]

We are sending him away in January. My mom sent in applications to Boot Camp for Troubled Youth,Boy's homes and Boarding Schools. He got in trouble tonight.

It's hard to do, but at the stage you are describing, a necessary option. It's good that your mother has realized that it isn't going to stop with your brother, and she, as well as you, need to be proactive in the situation. Hopefully through her pushing him into this camp, rather him pushing himself into this camp, and your support, he will realize what a world of @#$& he has gotten himself into and will pull himself out. That's the only way these situations actually work out, is if the person subjecting them self realizes and then resolves. I hope you keep us in the know as the situation further unfolds, and hopefully resolves itself.